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[27 Aug 2007|09:28am]
not going out of my house and seeing people for a while.
[I have 1 problem <-> help]

[24 Aug 2007|02:15pm]
you know things are going for the worse when you'd rather stay home and watch the OC than see what's going on in the outside world.

[18 Aug 2007|02:47pm]
someone made me a mix cd. yeessssss.

[16 Aug 2007|06:49pm]
hey school next monday! I'm pretty confused right now!

[13 Aug 2007|11:00am]
it's going to happen.
and i just realized summer is over. school next monday!

[08 Aug 2007|10:07pm]
this weekend better be awesome.

[02 Aug 2007|03:48am]
someone has the key to my heart again.
i feel everything for him.

and when people find out it's going to be beatrice blasting part 3986938476938476938746
[I have 1 problem <-> help]

[31 Jul 2007|11:30pm]
2 more weeks and goodbye montreal.
[I have 3 problems <-> help]

[23 Jul 2007|12:42pm]
I am at work, and being at work and bored means that I get to write in my livejournal because I haven't done so in such a long time.

So I've been working at this new job that takes up 5 days of my week, and I don't care, because I get to work with Dacia and refugees from Senegal that are oh-so nice. I'm mainly trying to save up as much as possible for this trip to Houghton so I can be with Rhian and her husband and AWAY from here.
As much as I love Montreal, something goes wrong every time I try to do something good in this city.
Right now I'm thinking : hey. why am I such a mess?
Because I really am, I won't lie.
This guy called Dom that was kind of like my upper ranked boss at AA told me he was in love with me and I had to tell him off because I just didn't understand WHY.
It's that bad. I don't know how to cope with anything. So I have to push away the people that actually care? I'm pretty sure he was just impressed with my t-shirt folding skills at the store. Or something.
And then I just go for the guys that actually don't care about me, and fuck myself over with that. It's loads and loads of fun.

On another note, I have a show on friday. And I am NOT ready.

[26 Jun 2007|08:25pm]
I'm reading this book people are really being hyped about called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.
I'm going to try to apply what they're talking about in the book.
Ok wait no, I am going to apply what they're talking about in the book.
All about positive thinking, okay, I can do this. Hahahaha. This is going to be too hard for my own good.

[11 Jun 2007|09:31am]
Yesterday I spent 8 hours with the same person. I cried while he smiled.
Seeing him go for a solid 2 months isn't going to do me any good, but I'll manage. I always do.
I'm also getting a hold of the sober lifestyle really well.

[21 May 2007|08:32am]
Wow, people really want me to fail.

I decided that [14 May 2007|11:34am]
I'm going to slack on going out (that means cellphone, food, clothing, having a life etc) for the next month to come and save up for a camera.
A real, good reflex digital camera.

I need like at least 700 dollars for that. Okay. I can do this. Hahaha.

[17 Apr 2007|07:21pm]
As much as I know that I can't get lower than this, I still find comfort in my situation and loving every second of it.

It's pathetic. I made my sister cry. She cried because of what I am, of what I'm doing to myself, of what is happening to who I used to be.
[I have 5 problems <-> help]

[08 Apr 2007|05:45pm]
we were trapped in our own actions, and what we wanted to be.
now i'm never going to see you again.

[08 Apr 2007|08:18am]
"je sais pas pourquoi mais j'ai vraiment envie de te voir en ce moment"


[31 Mar 2007|09:21pm]
april is tomorrow, and april means spring. spring means new things to come.

i need this. and im glad we're doing this.

[28 Mar 2007|09:24am]
If I land this job at starbuck's, I swear I'll make this world a better place.

Well, try at least.
I really want to work there. Like, really really really really really want to work there.
On another note, I'm going to prom again. Means I have to wear a dress again. I don't really enjoy wearing dresses.
[I have 2 problems <-> help]

[20 Mar 2007|09:12am]
There's no use in admitting to myself I can live with this.

I've seen you at your best and your worst, but lately you're lower than I could imagine. The worst part is, I am not mad at you. You deserve this, you deserve to be treated as well as he treated me when he thought he was in love with me. You deserve it because it'll probably be one of the rare times it'll happen to you. One day you will realize where you are and think, think about what you did, think about the situation you're in, and wonder about what you ruined.
You ruined us, and I'm glad to say I can't have your back anymore. I can't be mad at you, of course I can't. After all you would tell me on blow, how you envied and wanted to be just like me. How you admired me, of how strong I was. I bet you are so proud of what you managed to pull off. The fact that you have in your hands the only thing that mattered to me in a while. I am not mad but that doesn't mean I can stand or look at you.
Isn't that worse though? To me it is. You disgust me more than anything else. Think darling, think. Who does that to someone who has stood by your side, that defended the poor girl you are, someone that was your friend?
Keep sniffing and popping if it can take you away from what you are.
I bet you can't even stand to look at yourself in the mirror and I hope to God you'll realize, for your own good, what you have done.

All of my love;

- Beatrice
[I have 3 problems <-> help]

[10 Mar 2007|10:19am]
Florida is treating me well, even though all I have been doing for the past few days is stay in my room and STUDY.
I have a philosophy mid term exam the day I come back. It's great. Neato, gang.

I haven't tanned at all.
I miss Montreal a little bit, among other things.
This Ontario boy in my hotel is the most annoying being I have ever encountered. He knocks on my door every 30 minutes to ask what's up even though I keep telling him I'm busy doing important school work. 2 days ago he dragged me out on the beach at night and made lame attemps to hold my hand.
I don't need this right now!
Oh and, LJ lurkers, don't add me on msn unless I know you. Chances are I'll get creeped out and delete you. That is all.

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